


Pastel blue

by Yuna_Starlines



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Hanaki disease, Hurt/Comfort, I guess not sure, M/M, They're dramatic but it's nice, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24358558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuna_Starlines/pseuds/Yuna_Starlines
Summary: Remus and Virgil were two dark sides in love. Logan and Roman were two light sides in love. Why didn’t he could be happy? It wasn’t fair.He was lying on his bed, alone with blue petals coming out of his mouth.He was going to die alone.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 6
Kudos: 85





	Pastel blue

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like this one! I had fun writing this instead of doing my homework. Anon requested this in my tumblr

Janus didn’t remember how he got in this situation.

Then again, he was the bad guy. Not Virgil, not Remus, him.

He felt another cough forming on his lungs, and he tried so damn hard to hide it, but in the end, he let it out, covering his mouth with the thin handkerchief. The blue pastel petals were stained with dots of blood.

This was getting worse.

It wasn’t _fair_.

Of everyone he could fell for, he fell for the definition of a light side.

Remus and Virgil were two dark sides in love. Logan and Roman were two light sides in love. Why didn’t he could be happy? It wasn’t _fair._

He was lying on his bed, alone with blue petals coming out of his mouth.

He was going to die alone.

_Could sides die? What will happen to Thomas?_

He closed his eyes, and a for a moment he imagined a life were the petals weren’t falling and he holding Patton’s hand.

* * *

Virgil could hear the coughing, from his room.

It was rough, fits of at least five minutes of horrible coughing. He wanted to ignore it, a part of him wondered if it was a snake trap, _trust in me, when I’m down_ and he wanted to ignore it, but he wasn’t heartless.

In the middle of the night he went to the source of the noise, pausing outside Janus’ (it was weird, calling him again by his name) and he listened closely to the coughing. He didn’t knock, he opened the door, finding Janus holding his chest with a face twisted in pain.

“Jan-” He tried, but another coughing fit sprouted from Janus, and he run to his side. Janus didn’t even notice he was there, until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“G…Go away, Virgil.” He mumbled, trying to push him but Virgil didn’t mov, simply held his hand and clean the sweat on his forehead.

They used to be best friends, before everything happens, before Virgil abandoned them, before everything went down. Remus forgive him, of course he did, Remus wasn’t there when he left for good, Remus was Remus. Virgil sometimes wondered if the reason that Janus didn’t trust the others was his fault, it probably was.

Sometimes he wishes he had never left, he wishes for everything to be _okay_ , for Thomas to be happy and for them to be _okay_ , but it wasn’t. Now, he could only hold Janus’ hand as he coughed.

“I’m sorry, I’m here…” He wasn’t sure why he was apologizing. Everything, maybe?

“I don’t want you here.” Janus looked up, and that’s when Virgil noticed the crushed petals on his mouth.

“Jan…” He didn’t know what to say. He remembered helping Roman when he started coughing dark-blueish petals, but that was easier. Logan run to his side, and Roman screamed in pain when he touched him.

_“Hanaki.” Patton have said, holding his shoulder, “We’ll leave you alone.” And when Roman and Logan came out, holding hands, Roman was okay._

“How… Huh, how long has this been going?” He asked, not sure what else to say. Should he call Patton? Or Logan? Logan was intelligent, he must know what to do.

“Why do you care?” He said, between heavy breaths and petals.

“You’re my friend.”

Lies tasted different for people. Remus rarely lied, so when he did, it tasted sweet. Like a kid saying _I didn’t do it mama_ , like an over-sweet-lollipop that made Janus tongue feel numb. When Logan lied, it was like coke, almost fizzy. For Roman it was like green tea, like a comfort food. Patton’s lies were bitter, like when you bite a stem. Virgil’s lies were like acid candy.

This lie didn’t taste at all.

Janus’ eyes filled with tears, “Why aren’t you lying?”

“I never lie to you.”

There it was, the acidic sweetness, like a gummy-bear. Virgil chuckled, “Okay, I lie to you, a lot. But not about this, you’re my friend.”

Janus wanted to cry, but everything was hurting. Just the way air got in his lungs _hurt_ , “How long?” Virgil asked again.

“Six months.”

_Can sides die?_

“Holly, shit.” Virgil abruptly stood up, and Janus tried, he tried to grabbed his hand because he didn’t want to be alone, “ **Patton! Patton come here right now!** ” He screamed, with his distorted voice. “ **I need your help!”** Janus tried to stopped him, but the end, he really wanted to see Patton once more.

* * *

Patton couldn’t sleep.

He was in the kitchen, staring at an empty cup of tea. Nights like this, when he couldn’t sleep but he felt calm, where his favorite nights. Don’t get him wrong, he loved taking care of his fellow sides, but he loved peace.

That peace was broken with the distorted scream of his son, (yes, he knew that Virgil wasn’t his son, but he will call him like that, on his mind at least.)

“Dad.” Patton gave a broken smile. Whenever Virgil was scared, the word would slip out, it was cute, but it hurt when Virgil called him _Patton_ instead. “Dad, I need your help.”

**“** Sure, kiddo. Just let me clean…”

“ **No, there’s no time, come.”** He grabbed his hand and guided him to the _dark_ part of the mindscape. As soon as Patton entered, he heard the coughing.

Loud coughing.

They entered to Janus’ room, who was tossing in pain, holding his chest. He ran to him, forgetting for a moment about Virgil.

He got closer to the bed, kneeling at the side of Jan, “Hey, sweetheart.” Janus whimpered, “It’s okay.” He didn’t know what to do.

His feelings for the snaked-like side were confusing. He wasn’t capable of hating, but their first interactions were like that. _Deceit_. It felt weird on his tongue now, calling him other thing than Janus, he would call him bee, because of the yellow and black and Janus would glare at him, but it was cute, so they never stopped. When Janus revealed his name, when he showed that he was more than _lies_ Patton stopped feeling _bad_ about him.

It was weird, how closer they became when everything went down-hill.

Things were better, now. Roman was feeling better every day, Logan was feeling listened to, Virgil feel useful, and Remus, well, Patton noticed he was happier, but it was hard to read the dark creativity.

He touched the scaled side, trying to remove a tear that was forming on his eye, but the simple touch made Janus screamed in pain. He heard Roman’s voice _what’s happening_ as Virgil tried to keep everyone outside.

“Hanaki…”

“Het Pat.”

Patton felt his eyes filling with tears, “You moron!” Janus eyes opened, as if he was scared, “If you’ve told me before!”

He made an impulsive movement, he knew, but he wanted to save him. The pastel blue petals were everywhere now, and Janus face was burning. He grabbed both of his cheeks and pulled him for a kiss.

It wasn’t sweet. Janus was probably shocked, because he didn’t reciprocate it. He tasted the flowers on his lips. When Patton pulled back, Janus was staring at him.

“You don’t have to lie…”

“I don’t think I am. I can’t say I’m in love with you,” Patton said, thinking his words, “not yet, at least. I do like you, however. I, uhm. I like the way you tried to lie, or how your forked tongue slits out when someone else is lying, as if you’re tasting the air.”

Janus whimpered, “I like your eyes, and the way they shine when you talk about something you are passionate about. I like how you deal with the bad guy persona for our sake.”

“I like you.”

This time, when they kissed, Patton didn’t taste the flowers.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!   
> Follow me in tumblr @yuna-dan


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